Pigskin Princess #4- Cross Pattern: The Intersection Between Writing & Football

People are always surprised when they find out that I coach freshmen football. Not only am I a woman who has never played the game (I lettered in track in high school) I'm a librarian and a writer. At first glance none of these things appear congruent with the football coach personality type, but after one season of coaching I can tell you that football is as creative and collaborative as any artistic endeavor. 

The only way to become a writer is to write. A lot. And a lot of what you write is never going to be seen by anyone else. This can be a bitter pill to swallow, but there's no way around it. The more you practice, the better you get.

This obviously applies to sports. In football we practice plays and different skill drills, such as ball security, footwork or tackling. In writing there are exercises for setting, dialogue and point of view.  After the exercises you edit, and edit more, trying to perfect a play or paragraph. Whether you're playing or writing, drills, exercises and editing can tire you out. The real test is how you keep moving forward through fatigue, through exhaustion and occasionally through fear.

While I would never want a player to be afraid on the field, I do believe fear plays a role for athletes and artists alike. Fear can serve as a warning device, but at its most effective, it presses on ego and boosts determination to push past it. While writers are rarely in physical distress (I guess if you spilled hot coffee on your lap...) football players can become injured. Fear keeps one alert and focused, both necessary ingredients for success on the page and the field. Fear also prevents complacency, which is dangerous to all of us. 

I've been afraid as writer when I've felt stuck on a plot point or faced the dreaded writers' block. On the field I've stood too close to a drill and missed being tackled by inches. Sometimes a ball whirls by my head and I realize I narrowly missed being hit in the face. That kinda scares me. At the same time, I feel both fear and excitement when I hit the send button for a piece of writing I want considered for publication. It's scary to risk being rejected, but it's exhilarating having skin in the game.

Players and coaches experience that same combination of nerves and adrenaline on Game Day. Will the plays be executed as we practiced? Can we stop the run? Can the line give the quarterback the time he needs? For all the practicing we do, the reality is that anything can happen in the heat of the moment. In every game the unexpected will emerge in all its incarnations: good, bad and the ugly.

A live football game is not a situation with guaranteed outcomes. While we can predict that if players run their routes incorrectly, the play will be be broken and an opportunity missed, players (not unlike fictional characters) will often go their own way because practice doesn't always make perfect. Writing is the same way. I can work hard on writing the best novel I can (done that). I can craft an amazing query letter for an agent to represent me (done that). I can start a blog and build a web presence (done that) but none of those things will guarantee I will ever find an agent and get my book published. (Still waiting.)

 So why bother to play the game at all?

In football we win or lose. In writing the line between success and failure is more challenging to define. Am I a failure as a writer because I haven't secured an agent? Am I a winner because I "own" my writing life and embrace it and take it seriously? As an artist I have to define success differently than an athlete would if I want my physical and mental stamina to last. 

I write and I volunteer to coach football in order to be on the field, both literally and figuratively, to see that point on the horizon where an opportunity is within my reach and I grab at it with all my might.

Maybe the YMCA philosophy is right, maybe everyone is a winner, just for being willing to play the game.

**Our first Frosh football game is Wednesday, August 28 at 6 p.m. at Husky Stadium.**

Pigskin Princess #3- Unexpected Twists and Turns

Every spring on a high school campus the arrival of college acceptance letters creates both celebration and anguish. As staff we look forward to hearing about our students' plans for their future. Unfortunately, not everyone's plans will go according to plan. It's difficult to hear a student share his or her disappointment, anger and frustration over a rejection letter, loss of financial assistance or any other twist or turn than can send them down an unknown path.

I've counseled a few such souls here in the LMC and to all of them I gave the same advice, "This very well may be the best thing that happened; the unexpected brings on all manner of possibilities."

It turns out that I now have to practice what I preach. The first twist came last spring in the form of Coach Heavner, the new Head Coach for Husky Football. Within a month of his arrival, I lost my partner-in-crime, Ms. Orest, to an opportunity at another district campus. Over the summer Dr. Courson announced his departure and a new partner-in-crime was hired for the LMC, the lovely Ms. Pilarski.

These changes aren't necessarily the problem, it's more my reaction to them  I'm finding myself feeling a bit like those students who had their heart set on one particular path to take them where they wanted to go. And you know what? It's harder to follow my advice then I thought.

No matter how you approach change; it comes, most often unexpectedly. Where do you draw the line between don't fix what isn't broken and being open and flexible?

Perhaps it's time for me to have a change of heart. Yes, a lot is changing around me, but most of the people and things I love and enjoy are still within an arm's reach. Like-

The sound of my football players doing their Husky Jacks during warm up.

The smell of the players who just did Husky Jacks.

The feeling I get buying a book for the LMC I know the students will love.

Buying books for myself I know I will love.

That first cup of morning coffee enjoyed on the patio couch with the dog next me.

Disney is making Star Wars VII!!!!! (More than an arm's length admittedly, but still!)

In a way, there's not much different about my life. Its core elements remain.

For those out there forging a new path at the start of this school year remember this- you're still going on an adventure. You'll still learn things and meet new people. You'll grow in ways you never imagined.

As for flexibility, grab some yoga pants and a mat. A downward dawg shouldn't be a problem for Husky.

Pigskin Princess #2- When Mom Goes To Football Practice

When I interviewed for my position on the coaching staff for Freshmen Football the biggest point I stressed was how I didn’t want the presence of a woman to change any aspect of the program, most especially for the players. As a mother of sons I felt strongly that boys need male-centered environments where they can act like boys. (In other words, farting out loud is always acceptable.)

I can safely say my gender hasn’t amounted to much in terms of change. There have been a few additions, like the word ma’am, and blinds for the coaches’ office inside the locker room. (Unfortunately the blinds don’t block out the smell.) On the field I am not much different from my male colleagues; I yell, I wear a whistle and I carry the play book.  Like them, I sweat, get tired and lose my voice. I’ve spent the better part of the season believing we were almost the same, except for one key difference- what happens at home.

It’s fair to say that my male colleagues don’t start laundry when they get home from Saturday morning practice. Nor are they responsible for meal planning for the people who remain at home while they’re coaching.  They’re not worrying about buying gifts for assorted relatives, signing school forms (for their own children) and packing school lunches. I doubt they’ll stress over holiday planning (it will be here before you know it) finding time for a mani/pedi or the affect of all that sun and sweat on their complexions.

Sometimes I look at my fellow coaches and I feel a bit envious because I suspect their wives have released them from a myriad of household responsibilities. That may or may not be true. While their responsibilities at home may differ from mine (let’s face it, I don’t do yard work) they, like me, have left a trail of undone, need-to-do and want-to-do tasks in their wake during football.

One area where I know the guys and I suffer equally is in family-life balance. There really is none during football season. We coach five evenings a week and on Saturday mornings. We arrive home exhausted, smelly and sometimes cranky, depending on what went down at practice. For me Game Day is a fourteen hour affair- eight hours of work , followed by the team meal, the production of players getting dressed in game attire, warm-ups, a possible bus ride, more warm-ups, the pre-game pep talk, the game, half time, the mid-game pep talk, the second half, the post-game talk and finally a bus ride back to school. I get home about 9:00 p.m. having left the house at 6:45 a.m.

Two weeks ago The Better Half was out of town on Game Day. I saw Son #2 for a total of ten minutes, five in the morning and five when I arrived home. His dinner was whatever the $8 cash I had in my wallet could buy him that night, since I had neither the time or energy to prepare something. In truth, he was likely thrilled to go grab fast food, he’s sixteen after all, but that’s not the point.

To his credit The Better Half has recalibrated  his expectations during football season. I don’t cook during the week anymore, but I am expected to supply the food needed so others can. I also don’t do dishes at night when I come home from practice. Sometimes The Better Half forgets my schedule and asks me out to dinner on Friday night. There is no going out to dinner on Friday night because after my team’s practice, I head to the varsity game. (Friday Night Lights baby!)

I didn’t become a female football coach to make a statement about gender roles. I did it because I love the game and working with kids.  My male colleagues and I have equally sacrificed to be on the field with our players. They may not be worried about the laundry, but I’ve learned they do worry about what’s suffering in their personal lives while they’re on the field.

Exhaustion, it seems, is an equal opportunity condition.

Is it all worth it? If you need to ask  you haven’t been paying attention.
 
Go Huskies!

Pigskin Princess: On Any Given Wednesday

When I joined the coaching staff of the Freshmen football team last spring (no that's not a typo) my mind immediately set to visions of the multitude of blogs such an experience would produce. I dreamed up a clever moniker (see above) and planned for a great photo of myself with a football and rhinestones for props.

Fast forward to today- Game Day #2 of the season.

I have not-

Blogged one sentence about coaching football.

Taken my fancy Pigskin Princess head shot.

Completely memorized the playbook. (So close!)

Avoided catching the Pigskin Plague- the cold bug that travels through the team in batches of four people.

Figured out how to make my hair last past two practices without needing to be washed again.
Regretted my decision to ask (I asked) to be part of Husky Football.

I have- 

A lot to learn about football.

And coaching. They are separate skills sets.

Wonderful coaching colleagues whose experience and talent amazes me every day.

Fantastic (and aromatic) players.

Fun watching the reaction from people when they learn I'm coaching boys' football.

Sweated through twice a week summer evening practices and now six days-a-week regular season practice without whining (even at home where it's safe to whine).

Learned that my gender is not a handicap at all, but my lack of experience  is.

So why? Why do this crazy, very ungirly, unwriterly, unlibrarian-like activity that takes up about twenty hours a week (without pay!)? Two words-

GAME DAY 

Wednesday is Game Day for Freshmen Football. Game Day is what we live for, work for and sweat for. It's our reward and, as we know, anything can happen on Game Day.

And in my case it already has- I'm part of the team. The players  probably aren't going to learn a lot about football from me this year. What I hope they do learn from me is this- believe in that crazy thing you've always wanted to do and seize the opportunity to become part of it.

Because anything can happen.