Do Not Disturb

Disney's Sleeping Beauty

This morning when I was getting ready for work I put nail cuticle cream under my eyes instead of my fancy eye cream. How did this happen?

A) BC (Before Coffee).
B) I didn’t have my contacts or glasses on.
C) I was exhausted.

If my husband had a say, he’d add D) There was too much junk on the bathroom counter, but I can assure you that had nothing to do with it.

If you guessed C, you’re right. Last night my Husky had a lacrosse game. We returned home after 10:00 p.m. and after setting the coffee maker, petting the animals, some kitchen KP and the usual bedtime routine, I found myself in bed at 10:45 with a book in hand. I read for about fifteen minutes before shutting off the lights.

That’s when I did the math- my alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m.- I’d be lucky to get a full five and a half hours of sleep. I could hear my Husky mulling around the house after my light went off. Teens’ circadian rhythms get reset at puberty for later bedtimes, usually just past 11:00 p.m. According to the Mayo Clinic, my Husky needed nine hours of sleep and I needed seven to nine for optimum health.

We’re falling short. Given that I work at here at Horizon, we are on nearly the same schedule. We both leave the house at 6:40 a.m. I arrive at 7 a.m. and open the library. The school day runs from 7:25-2:20, with me staying until 3:00.

Factor in homework, sports or school activities and perhaps a part time job and the average teen is pretty busy. The average teen parent has a full time job, dinner and household duties and either volunteering for their child’s activities or viewing them. I’m not talking about being over-scheduled either. One activity, like a sport, can take up an enormous chunk of time for the teen and the adults in his life. All those after school obligations go late into the night, often past 9 p.m. not including travel time. That’s not going to change.

Years ago the district queried parents about switching start times- having the younger students start earlier, the older kids later, as is done in other Valley schools, but the notion never took off. I keep hoping it will get revisited.

Now I know I could get up later than 4:30 a.m. to add some much needed sleep to my schedule and if I had one of those post-apocalypse pixie cuts like Carol on the Walking Dead I’d consider it. The only thing worse than feeling exhausted is feeling rushed, and my early rising affords me a full thirty minutes to sip my morning coffee and prepare for the day. Priceless! (That’s what concealer is for anyway.)

After nearly two years of working on a high school campus no one knows better how snarky, temperamental and moody teens can be. But keep in mind that there’s nothing beautiful about being exhausted and most teens are exactly that.

I’m going to soldier on and get through the day with a Starbuck’s elixir or two.

It’s a pity youth is wasted on the young because I’m not sure they have the time to fully enjoy and appreciate it anymore.

Pigskin Princess #2- When Mom Goes To Football Practice

When I interviewed for my position on the coaching staff for Freshmen Football the biggest point I stressed was how I didn’t want the presence of a woman to change any aspect of the program, most especially for the players. As a mother of sons I felt strongly that boys need male-centered environments where they can act like boys. (In other words, farting out loud is always acceptable.)

I can safely say my gender hasn’t amounted to much in terms of change. There have been a few additions, like the word ma’am, and blinds for the coaches’ office inside the locker room. (Unfortunately the blinds don’t block out the smell.) On the field I am not much different from my male colleagues; I yell, I wear a whistle and I carry the play book.  Like them, I sweat, get tired and lose my voice. I’ve spent the better part of the season believing we were almost the same, except for one key difference- what happens at home.

It’s fair to say that my male colleagues don’t start laundry when they get home from Saturday morning practice. Nor are they responsible for meal planning for the people who remain at home while they’re coaching.  They’re not worrying about buying gifts for assorted relatives, signing school forms (for their own children) and packing school lunches. I doubt they’ll stress over holiday planning (it will be here before you know it) finding time for a mani/pedi or the affect of all that sun and sweat on their complexions.

Sometimes I look at my fellow coaches and I feel a bit envious because I suspect their wives have released them from a myriad of household responsibilities. That may or may not be true. While their responsibilities at home may differ from mine (let’s face it, I don’t do yard work) they, like me, have left a trail of undone, need-to-do and want-to-do tasks in their wake during football.

One area where I know the guys and I suffer equally is in family-life balance. There really is none during football season. We coach five evenings a week and on Saturday mornings. We arrive home exhausted, smelly and sometimes cranky, depending on what went down at practice. For me Game Day is a fourteen hour affair- eight hours of work , followed by the team meal, the production of players getting dressed in game attire, warm-ups, a possible bus ride, more warm-ups, the pre-game pep talk, the game, half time, the mid-game pep talk, the second half, the post-game talk and finally a bus ride back to school. I get home about 9:00 p.m. having left the house at 6:45 a.m.

Two weeks ago The Better Half was out of town on Game Day. I saw Son #2 for a total of ten minutes, five in the morning and five when I arrived home. His dinner was whatever the $8 cash I had in my wallet could buy him that night, since I had neither the time or energy to prepare something. In truth, he was likely thrilled to go grab fast food, he’s sixteen after all, but that’s not the point.

To his credit The Better Half has recalibrated  his expectations during football season. I don’t cook during the week anymore, but I am expected to supply the food needed so others can. I also don’t do dishes at night when I come home from practice. Sometimes The Better Half forgets my schedule and asks me out to dinner on Friday night. There is no going out to dinner on Friday night because after my team’s practice, I head to the varsity game. (Friday Night Lights baby!)

I didn’t become a female football coach to make a statement about gender roles. I did it because I love the game and working with kids.  My male colleagues and I have equally sacrificed to be on the field with our players. They may not be worried about the laundry, but I’ve learned they do worry about what’s suffering in their personal lives while they’re on the field.

Exhaustion, it seems, is an equal opportunity condition.

Is it all worth it? If you need to ask  you haven’t been paying attention.
 
Go Huskies!